lovingvulcan:

peak cooking competition humor is when a contestant doesn’t know where or what something is and the camera just slowly zooms in on it

(Source: skyylinepigeon, via fourchette)

puff-lee:

mdotcarper:

yung-starbucks:

itsyummerz:

kaylasays:

yung-starbucks:

chadleymacgufferson:

yung-starbucks:

vegetakillmonger:

vegetakillmonger:

yung-starbucks:

chavindontexist:

yung-starbucks:

kera-angelique:

yung-starbucks:

yung-starbucks:

Sometimes when I’m bored..I ghostwrite Nicki Minaj lyrics in my head….like..things she’d say in a song.

For example

“ Bitches is my sons, but I didn’t ABort it

All my records sale/sail you can all Aboard it

Just cop the whip but you can’t Afford it

You can’t relate you Honda Accord it!”

The fact that I read this in her voice in my head 😂😂😂

😂I love Nicki but she’d drop this then tweet “niggas don’t support real lyricist!”

“And this is the Fax according to me

If you can’t afford a car, you can’t roll with me

Got that pussy on swerve, but pull over please

What you thought? That a bitch would ride dick for free?!”

“Ride for free!? Nah, imma needa service FEE

You can catch me getting a tan, Over Seas!

She needed a PaP! I ain’t talkin Ovaries!”

When the album droppin?

Im krusty krab.. yall dumb bitches Chum bucket

Got that Wet pussy, he eat it on the beach…

What we call that? BIKINI BOTTOM

Originally posted by pinkplanetnicki

I’m the Professor you my kid, BLOSSOM

I Dodge’em like the bus in Rock BOTTOM

Yes, rock bottom Squarepants spongeBOB’EM

I Made them all FALL like leaves in AUTUMN

Real big PROBLEM but NO you can’t Solve’EM

Yeah bitch, do the math

And carry the one

Ya could never get a hit

He one night it and done

Originally posted by apenasumgarotoperdido

I’m wifey hun, they never one night me HUN

I’m Bruce Lee with the CHUCKS

Chun-Li with the Buns

I’m Vegeta, You Trunks

Dr.Sues in the Booth

Number one with the Puns

Never let a nigga come back for more

These niggas is all dogs, they eat down on four

I give him good pussy, fuck your nigga in a Honda

He freeze like T'Challa, send that nigga to Wakanda

Ain’t got no kids, left them bitches in the condom

Ain’t got no dick, but he love my anaconda

Originally posted by heynicki

LOL now do Cardi.

OFFSET

@queenterren fuckkkk

This was a crazy ass ride! Nicki got ghosts everywhere.

(via jehovahhthickness)

bitter-feminist:

Picture this: it’s 2007, you’re on your family computer on stardoll.com listening to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne on repeat. Your ringtone is I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. You somehow don’t realize you’re not straight.

(via surprisebitch)

powerfrog:

maplebungus:

loose, foot loose, put on your fuckin foot loose, feet, foot feet, dance on your fucking feet

(via prescriptionduck)

kidzbopdeathgrips:

*lying in bed with my wife*

her: honey you seem to have something on your mind

me: no sweetheart i’m fine

her: are you sure?

me: yes i’m sure. good to sleep

my mind:

gapple fcrumble………

(via surprisebitch)

anon:

(via ruinedchildhood)